If Only You Knew Read online

  The tap-tap of keystrokes drew her gaze to the desk in the comer of the room. Ric sat behind his desk. The soft glow of the lamp and his laptop illuminated his face. She would never grow tired of looking at him.

  Her husband and her love.

  The longer I'm with him, the more I fall in love with him, she thought remembering the massage he'd given her. Pushing aside the blanket, a blanket he covered her with while she slept she sat up on the couch.

  Whatever was on the computer enthralled him. With his elbow on the desk, he rested his head in his hand and stared intently at the computer screen.

  "What are you doing?" she asked brushing her fingers through her hair.

  Ric looked up from the computer screen. "Looking for information on your condition."

  "Oh. What did you find?" she asked.

  He shrugged his shoulders. "Not much more than what you told me. I wish you didn't have to go through this. I wish you weren't in pain."

  She felt his concern for her and treasured his caring feelings for her. If only he loved her. "Ric, I go through this every month. I'm fine. Really."

  "I've never seen you like this."

  "Why would you? When I didn't feel well, I usually stayed at home."

  "I don't like it," he said. He rose to his feet and joined her on the couch. "Is having a baby worth the pain you're going through? We could adopt. You don't have to go through this."

  Anna May bowed her head and closed her eyes, fighting the tears which threatened to fall. "It's worth it to me. I've always wanted children, you know that. If I had my way, I'd have a house full. But I don't think I'll have that option. A little pain is worth the chance to have a child."

  He cupped her face in his hands and gazed into her eyes, his brown eyes filled with concern. "Then I'll do everything in my power to give you a child."

  A single tear escaped and rolled down her cheek.

  "Hey, hey—none of that," he said wiping away the tear with the pad of his thumb. When two more tears rolled down her cheek, he said, "Come on, Anna May. Don't cry."

  She sniffled as the tears continued to fall.

  "You know. If you keep this up, I'm gonna have to change my shirt, and you know what happened the last time I did."

  Anna May's laugh sounded more like a sob. She had cried in Ric's arms when she learned the boy she was dating had asked her out only as a part of his fraternity initiation. Ric walked her to her dorm room, then told her he'd be back after he changed his shirt. Instead, he went to her date's dorm room and beat him up. Ric returned to her room wearing a clean shirt and sporting a black eye. When she asked how he got the black eye, he told her he'd run into something. It was a few days later when she'd crossed paths with her former date—his lower lip was cut, and dark bruises ringed his eyes. He made a U-turn when he saw her.

  "No, I wouldn't want that to happen," she replied.

  "Good," he said wiping away her tears and then releasing his hold on her.

  She brushed away the remaining moisture. "I think I'll turn in for the night."

  "Tired?" he asked.

  She nodded her head. "Still groggy from the medication."

  "Can you stay awake for a little while longer?"

  "I guess. Why?"

  "Your mother called while you were sleeping."

  "Mom? What did she want?" Anna May asked.

  "I don't know. She wants you to call her."

  Anna May glanced at the clock over the mantel. The three-hour time difference meant it was seven o'clock in California. "I guess I'd better see what Mom wants," she said. She came to her feet and straightened gingerly. The medication helped ease the pain but didn't completely dull it. She walked to his desk and picked up the telephone.

  "Hi Mom," she said cheerfully.

  "How's my baby girl?" her mother asked.

  "I'm fine."

  "Anna May, I'm your mother. I know something's wrong. I can hear it in your voice. Now, tell Mama what's wrong."

  Anna May smiled and sat in the chair. How her mother knew something was bothering her, she didn't know. It had to be an instinct parents developed, she thought wryly. "I can't pull anything over on you, can I?"

  "No. Now what's wrong?"

  She smiled at her mother's tenacity. Her mother never changed. Her smile faded as she remembered the reason for her earlier tears. "I'm not pregnant, Mom."

  "Oh, baby girl," her mother said softly, conveying her sadness over the telephone line. "I'm sorry."

  "Yeah—me, too, Mom. Me, too."

  "Well, don't give up. I had a hard time getting pregnant. Your father and I tried for almost a year before Steven came along."

  A year. It seemed like a lifetime. A tremor of fear entered her voice. "I don't know if I have a year."

  "It probably won't take that long for you to have a child. Doctors are discovering ways to help couples have children every day. Don't worry."

  "I can't help but worry," Anna May said.

  "Honey, you just started. Worry and stress won't help your condition. So stop it."

  And that's that, she thought to herself. Anna May smiled at the resolve in her mother's voice. "Yes, ma'am."

  "Anna May, don't sass me."

  "I'm not sassing you, Mom," she said.

  "Hmm. I called to find out when you're coming for James's birthday."

  Christmas, Thanksgiving, birthdays were cause for every member of the Robinson family to meet at her parents' home. This Saturday was James's thirty-fifth birthday, and she wasn't going to miss it. "I pick up my ticket tomorrow, Mom. I'll call you with the details then."

  "Ric is coming with you, isn't he?"

  It was a good question. She'd actually forgotten to mention her upcoming travel plans to Ric. Anna May glanced at her husband's relaxed form on the couch. He'd picked up a magazine from the coffee table and appeared to be reading.

  "Anna May?" her mother queried.

  "Uhh. I'll have to get back to you on that, Mom."

  "What's that supposed to mean? Either he's coming or he's not."

  "Well, I don't know yet"

  "You put Ric on the phone. He's a part of the family now and expected to be here like the rest of the family," her mother said.

  "Uhh."

  "Don't uhh me. Put Ric on the telephone."

  "But Mom—I need to talk to him first."

  "You need to talk to him first? Anna May, you did tell him you were coming to California for the weekend, didn't you?"

  "Not exactly."

  She heard her mother's long-winded sigh. "You better tell him before Saturday."

  "I'll do it as soon as I get off the phone."

  "Is that a hint?"

  "No."

  "Hmm," her mother said skeptically. "Call me tomorrow with the information on your flight."

  "I will, Mom."

  They said their goodbyes, and Anna May hung up the telephone.

  "What do you have to talk to me about?" Ric asked.

  Anna May looked across the room. Ric sat on the couch reading a magazine. "Were you listening to my conversation?"

  Ric closed the magazine and put it on the coffee table. "It's hard not to hear your conversation when I'm sitting less than fifteen feet away."

  "That was rude."

  "If you wanted privacy, you could have gone into another room. What do you have to talk to me about?"

  "You know, you and my mother are beginning to sound a lot alike."

  Ric raised a single brow. "My voice has a bit more bass than your mother's."

  She shook her head. "I need to talk to you about this weekend."

  "What about this weekend?"

  "Saturday is James's thirty-fifth birthday. We've planned a big party for him at my parents' house."

  Ric folded his arms and looked at her suspiciously. "Are you trying to tell me you're going to California in two days?"

  Anna May looked at him with a hopeful expression. She wanted him to be with her and her family. The birthday party was the perfect
time to show him a loving family. He'd turned down her offers to join her and her family so many times over the years, she'd finally stopped inviting him.

  This time was different.

  Now more than ever, he needed to attend this party. "I was thinking maybe we could both go."

  He frowned. "Two days isn't a lot of notice."

  "I know. I've been putting off telling you about the party because I was afraid you wouldn't come with me. I want you to come with me, Ric. The party's all set, and all you have to do is show up. It will be fun."

  He studied her from across the room.

  She waited in anxious silence as he thought it over. Her heart raced.

  Finally he said, "When do we leave?"

  The following morning...

  Adam Wilson placed the letter on his desk. He didn't have to read it again. He knew what it said.

  Thanks, but no thanks.

  He leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes. Failure was foreign to him. He'd always accomplished the goals he'd set for himself. This goal of bringing the company his grandfather started out of financial ruin seemed out of his reach. After his meeting with Ric Justice, he was confident Justice would agree with his plan. It was a good plan, profitable for both companies. And Justice had declined his offer.

  In his current situation, he had nine months of revenue coming into his company. After that time Wilson and Wilson would close its doors. The hum of voices in the outer office drifted into his own. In nine months his employees would be out of a job. Nine months. His employees had welcomed his new ideas and had worked hard to cut costs to make the company more profitable. They didn't deserve to be put out on the street.

  His options were crappy. He could lay off some of his employees and hope he could garner more business in the coming year to stay afloat. He could tell the employees to start looking for other jobs and hope he had enough employees to run the company, or he could try to find another source of income. But what person in their right mind would invest in a company as heavily in debt as his?

  Justice hadn't.

  "Hey, boy. What are you doing? Sleeping on the job?" His father's voice boomed in the office.

  Adam opened his eyes and looked at his father. The man who shaped his life with heavy-handed discipline. The man that shaped Ric Justice's life with cruelty.

  "No. What are you doing here?"

  His father made himself comfortable in a chair facing his desk. "What? Can't I come by to see my son?" his father asked with an air of innocence.

  "I know you, Dad. What do you want?" Adam rubbed his jaw.

  His father's gaze was piercing and direct. At one time in his life, that stare would have been enough to unnerve him, but years of experience in the business world had made him strong. His father no longer had the power to disturb him.

  Evan Wilson blinked. "I just wanted to know how things were going. I've owned this company for thirty years. It's hard to let it go completely, even with you running things."

  "You knew that before you retired."

  "I didn't expect my own son to kick me out. I thought I had at least a year of transition to retired life."

  "You agreed to the terms of the buyout, Dad. At the time you and I agreed it would be best if you stepped out of the picture. Our styles of management are totally incompatible."

  Evan rose. "I made this company what it is today."

  "A company so deep in debt that our stockholders are dumping our shares," Adam replied.

  "And what are you doing? Trying to sell the company to Justice," Evan said in disgust. "You're giving up at the first sign of trouble. I never gave up on this company. I took the good times with the bad."

  "Is that why you embezzled three quarters of a million dollars? Because you were taking the good times with the bad?"

  Adam watched as blood drained from his father's face. "I ... I don't know what you're talking about," Evan said.

  "I'm talking about the money you stole from the company last year. Did you think I wouldn't find out, or didn't you care?"

  "I never took anything that wasn't mine from this company. If money is missing, you should be finding out who took it," Evan blustered.

  "I know you took the money. I know how you moved it around from account to account, and I even know you have it tucked away in several Caribbean bank accounts."

  The tense silence stretched in the room. "How did you find out?" his father asked.

  "Does it matter?"

  "No. It doesn't matter because you won't do anything about it."

  Adam met his father's gaze. "You're right. I'm not going to do anything about it."

  Evan smiled mockingly and walked to the door, confidence in his stride.

  Waiting until his father reached the doorway, he said in a calm, soft voice, "Dad, I know about the fire."

  Evan Wilson drove his late-model Lexus through the busy streets of downtown Atlanta. Traffic was moderate at two o'clock, which worked in his favor because his mind wasn't on driving. How had Adam found out about the bank accounts? And what the hell did he mean with that cryptic statement, "I know about the fire." Nobody knew he'd deliberately burned down his own company. The fire department had never suspected arson, and the insurance company paid him dearly to rebuild. How had Adam found out? No, he couldn't know.

  The boy was getting too big for his britches. I should have made him come to work for me right out of college. Adam should have been making money for the family business instead of making all that money for that two-bit engineering firm, Evan thought. His lips tightened with anger when he thought of all the money he could have made, all the power that came with it. He'd still be in charge now, and he could have made life hell for Ric Justice. Instead, his boy was trying to sell his company to Justice.

  Evan's hand clenched on the steering wheel. He'd have to show them both who was in charge. Nobody messed with Evan Wilson. Nobody.

  Anna May's father met them at the gate of Los Angeles International Airport.

  "Daddy," she said, racing to the older man's side, then hugged and kissed him like she hadn't seen him in years instead of a few weeks. Ric followed at a more subdued pace. Ever wary of her father's reaction, he breathed an inward sigh of relief when her father returned her embrace.

  Anna May had so much faith and confidence in her family, he thought. She would never think her family would betray her, but he knew from painful experience how badly family treated family. He'd agreed to come with her on this trip for that very reason. He wasn't about to let her family hurt her like his family had hurt him.

  For the past two days, Anna May had reassured him of the fun they would have at her brother's party. He had yet to attend one of her family's parties. In the past he made sure she received her birthday gift before the party. Birthday parties brought to mind vague childhood memories of balloons, cake, and a tall man making him laugh. Later, his aunt had shown him a picture his father had sent to her of him and his father wearing party hats. It was his fourth birthday. The year his father was killed.

  "Come on, Ric."

  Anna May's happy voice penetrated his memories and brought him back to the present. She and her father stood arm in arm waiting for him. "Hello, Mr. Robinson," he said when he reached the duo.

  Mr. Robinson held out his hand. "How are you, Ric? How was the flight?"

  "Fine, sir," he replied as he shook his hand.

  "Good. Let's get you two to the house. Carolyn's probably pacing a hole in the floor. You know how excited she gets about these big parties," Mr. Robinson said.

  "And you don't," Anna May said in a teasing tone.

  "I can take them or leave them," her father said.

  "Okay, then I'll stay at home on your next birthday," she said as they walked down the terminal.

  Ric's muscles tensed at the frown on Mr. Robinson's face.

  "I wouldn't go that far, baby girl. A man likes to have his children around on special occasions. It makes him feel alive."

  "It also en
sures you'll get a present," she said.

  Mr. Robinson laughed. "That, too."

  Ric let his muscles relax, when he realized he didn't need to protect her. He listened to their banter as they claimed their bags, left the airport, and on the ride to her parents' home in her father's late-model car, occasionally adding a comment from the backseat.

  The banter didn't stop until they turned into the driveway of a Spanish-style house surrounded by palm trees. Before the car came to a stop, the front door opened and Mrs. Robinson walked out onto the porch.

  "I told you she was pacing a hole in the floor," her father teased as he parked the car.

  Anna May was out of the car in a flash. With arms opened wide, she ran to her mother.

  "We'd better bring in the bags," her father said. "They'll be holed up together for a good hour."

  Ric felt a sense of dread. He was going to be left with Anna May's father for an hour. Taking a look over his shoulder at his wife and mother-in-law, who were making their way to the front door, he hoped Anna May wouldn't leave him alone with her family an hour.

  She left him for two hours and fifteen minutes. Ric was surrounded by her brothers, cousins, and uncles. He'd lost count of names an hour ago when he'd been introduced to relative number fifteen, a cousin, and his wife and two small children.

  James's birthday party was more like a Robinson family reunion. Food from tacos to hot dogs to fried chicken abounded. Ric had yet to see a birthday cake, but brightly wrapped gifts covered the long folding table in the den where most of the family had gathered.

  "Get away from my presents, Anna May," James said from across the room.

  Ric watched his wife walk to the table and place the gift among the others. "You'd better be glad I didn't open it on the way here," she said.

  He found himself laughing with the rest of the family at her remark. So far being with her family wasn't as miserable as he thought it would be. Most of the people knew who he was, and although he couldn't remember meeting most of them, they treated him fairly.

  "How are you holding up?" Anna May asked when she reached his side.